Another year has come and gone.
Another birthday come and gone.
This has been a hectic year with a change in perception of life and motivation to obtain happiness. I have tried to spend more time with those who have been patient with my emotional absence throughout the years prior to this. If spending time has not been an option – for the multitude of reasons that we all have – I have tried to stay in touch via e-mail, MySpace, phone, etc. This year my birthday has left me a bit forlorn.
My birthday arrived and left.
As my day neared I had this feeling that it was going to be forgotten. I’m not one to usually make a big deal about these things. I understand that some are planning weddings, school, work, religious events, but this is the one day of the year that should be mine. The one day that I would hope some would be able to make time for me. I don’t care about presents; Lord knows I am not materialistic in that way. Two years ago my birthday was spent in mourning – this was something no one had control over and although people attempted to make up for it the following week it just didn’t have the same feeling. Last year I planned my own party. I invited friends and family over for dinner, which I cooked (and it was not up to my standards), and just to hang out. The party was at my house, the mess was mine to clean up (some stayed and helped), my husband disappeared for a few hours with our “mutual friends”, we laughed and we sang. It was a nice evening – planned by me for me. This year I was hoping that maybe – just maybe – someone would plan something for me. Instead this is how things unfolded…..
An old friend gave me a great birthday gift but was unable to come with me due to a death in the family. So I went with my sister. The concert was fun, but not as elating as I had hoped.
Friday – CWL planned a nice little birthday surprise with a gift and cake and candles. My boss told me she had forgotten my present at her house and would bring it in on Monday. It’s Monday and my boss has mentioned nothing – no surprise there.
Saturday – Worked during the day. Went out with family to celebrate my cousin’s birthday (hers is the day after mine) – as this was intention of the dinner as per the e-vite we all received. I walked in and was greeted with a “Happy Birthday” song. Dinner was nice. My cousin was supposed to have her own “Happy Birthday” song at the end of the evening, but that didn’t happen. There were no candles to be blown out. I received one birthday card. We went out for a few drinks after and then to a bar where my cousin’s friends were playing. At the bar my cousin and husband went out for some fresh air for about an hour as I sat at the bar alone.
Sunday – MY BIRTHDAY!
Three phone calls to wish me a happy birthday one from CWL, one from my friend who moved, and the other from my sister who had a fever. Went to a friend’s baby’s Christening where my other sister was the Godmother. I received a few birthday wishes and a “card to tide me over”. On my way home my husband asked me to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things, including dinner for the night and a six-pack for him. My husband was working hard on stuff for his classroom and around the house, yet I was still under the impression that we were going to go to the movies at some point. I arrived at home with one more phone call from my mother-in-law with birthday wishes and my husband saying that he forgot to ask me to stop at the video store for a movie later that night – so much for going out. Again I’m being understanding, he’s been working hard, he claims that we spoke about it the night before and due to my inebriate situation we very well may have. So I cooked myself a leftover lunch and sat down to watch a movie on TV as my husband continued to work.
At some point I fell asleep on the couch and became covered in pussy cats. When I woke up my husband was still working and another friend was leaving a birthday message for me on the machine. I told my husband that I was going to feed the cats and then go to the video store, come home and cook dinner. He offered me cash and suggested that I pick up my own birthday cake. I told him that it was too late for birthday cake and there was some left over from Friday that we could eat, but he insisted that I should have a fresh one with candles. Off I went onto an adventure that just perpetuated my feelings of being forgotten.
I arrived at the video store and within 5 minutes the manager asked everyone to leave because the computers had crashed and would be down for an undetermined amount of time. I called home to have my husband call the other video store to see if they were still open, but he didn’t answer the phone so I left a message and went to the grocery store for my birthday cake. Once I found the ice-cream cake I wanted I went to the register to learn that this small 8” cake was $20.00, filled with disgust and hurt I told the cashier I didn’t want it and walked out. My husband called me because he noticed that I called – he never checked the message so he had no idea why I called. We found out that the other video store was still open, and headed in that direction. Thank goodness everything there went just fine. Back in the car I go and head off for another grocery store, hoping that they will have an ice-cream cake that is a bit more reasonable. As I’m driving over there I begin to think about everything that had occurred during this special day. I thought about how sad it was that I was going to the store to purchase my own birthday cake, just like last year. Well, this store didn’t have any better options so I bought 2 pints of Ben & Jerry’s. On my way home I received my final birthday call of the day. At this point I was upset and decided to not answer the phone. I didn’t feel like talking to anybody or dealing with the question – “So what did you do today?” - or even acting chipper and happy.
When I got home my husband could see I was upset. He apologized for not doing a good job and he would try harder next year. He apologized that he didn’t get me a card or cake and acknowledged the fact that he could have made time the day before. I told him I truthfully didn’t expect anything from him because I didn’t even get a card on our anniversary this year so why would this be any different. I could see that this hurt him, but I was hurt too and I couldn’t keep it in any more. He told me that he knew I wasn’t like him and expected more from people on my birthday and promised he would do better next time because he didn’t like to see me hurt. While I was out he had made dinner, since I was starving I served myself and began to eat while he continued to work. Finally around 9PM he stopped working and was ready to watch the movie and spend time with me.
The movie I chose was kind of ironic. The main character had gotten up in the hubbub of everyday life and work. He never was satisfied with his social status and was always trying to achieve more. Through his attempts at obtaining promotions and a bigger paycheck, he wound up neglecting his family and going through life on auto pilot. He lost his wife and caused irreparable damage to his relationships with his parents and children. Here I sat with my husband who had been working all day and friends and family who were occupied with other events in their lives.
During the movie a friend of ours called. My husband was convinced that he was calling to wish me a happy birthday, but he only left a message about needing help with his wedding. Then my husband told me he had some wine and wanted to know if I would like some. I said sure. He went in the kitchen, opened up the bottle, and returned to the living room with one glass. When he leaned in my direction I assumed the glass was for me, but the look on his face told me he didn’t even think about pouring me a glass. He covered by saying that he had forgotten his glass in the kitchen and then places the one in his hand away from me. He went in the kitchen and my feelings were confirmed that he had no intention of getting me a glass when I heard the step stool being pulled out, the cabinet door opening, and more wine being poured. When he walked back in the living room he handed me the original glass of wine and then offered a toast about how wonderful I was and blessed he was for having me and how in love he was. Very sweet, but a little too late my feelings were already hurt. We finished the movie and then went to bed.
So this was my birthday. For those of you reading this that made an effort, I appreciate it. For those who did what they could, I understand. For those who forgot, I can relate. But I cannot lie, this was one of my most disappointing birthdays. I was left feeling forgotten. I know this was no one’s intentions, but this is how I feel.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
The Tragedy of Hypocrisy And the Ignorance of the Un-Grateful
For the past 9 years of my life I have dedicated much of my time to my current employer – foolish yes I know. For the first few years things were fine, then my supervisor left and I took on her position. I’m not sure what possessed me to do so at the time, maybe a desire to prove I could do it, the hope of better pay, promises of advancement and profit sharing. However, from June 2000- February 2003 the situation was a disaster. There were extreme difficulties finding a competent and sane full time assistant and part-time bookkeeper. (Also factoring into this difficulty was the fact that the owners were not offering enough to attract good candidates) During this tumultuous time we hired and lost Red, Rino, CryBaby, Con-artist, Crazy, NoCo, Possessed, NotEnuff, College Girl, Sorority Girl, School Girl, Psycho, Blondie, and the 2 who are here currently (whom I love them both). This was all just in the office. Our faculty went through some changes as well – over 25 instructors have come and gone in these few years.
I have been here through it all. I have been the one picking up the slack – bookkeeping (manually), learning new computer programs, handling the near 1000 cliental, between 6-8 annual performances, hiring and firing, reprimands, covering classes, schedule creation and adjustments, retail manager/salesperson, accounts receivables, delinquent accounts, legal representative, supplies, computer tech, copy machine tech, cleaning, plumber, psychologist, nurse, correspondences, liability control, detective, advertising executive, public relations, personal assistant, security, receptionist, and dear Lord I’m probably forgetting a few things.
I’ve tried to quit twice. The first time I was enticed with, what I consider a bribe. The second time, a family emergency required me to reevaluate my decision. My raises have been generous; however they have not truly compensated me for all my time and effort. And then again, to my knowledge, only ONE person has received any kind of raise in the past three years. We have also lost close to 200 cliental in the one business and over a 50% decline in sales for the other. But ONE person has still received a raise – and other financial compensations.
I tried to quit again a few years ago. Had another job lined up but realized that going to another similar position was not going to be the answer. At this point I made the decision to go back to school to become and educator of the young. I know that it is not an easy job, but there are many more rewards that touch my soul – these rewards are priceless. I was honest with my employer and we worked together to establish a plan that would enable me to keep my current position, attend school, and hire a replacement. All was right with the world – until…….
In February a co-worker (who has since left) was instructed to change the passwords to the financial records and not tell anyone. Odd, as I was the only other person who had those passwords.
A conflict between the boss and the BFB. This went on for several months and the boss was quite annoyed. She asked for my assistance with her written responses to the BFB, and I maintained our confidentiality, however she shared with someone that I was assisting. Then she began to share the correspondences with select cliental. She mentioned the possibility the BFB was not going to be with us much longer or that the capacity of her position was to be altered – we had to wait until the end of the year. Then we had to wait until after this one last public appearance (where more drama occurred and according to some boss let certain people down through her support of BFB). Then we were waiting for the BFB to approach the boss. BFB and family invited boss and family over for dinner one night. When asking the boss the following morning how things went, we were given the response – everything is fine BFB understands – then off to her office she went. Since that day BFB has been given more control and the BFB and boss are the best of friends. I wonder if BFB is aware of how Boss was acting during their conflict?
BFB has shown up in the office saying she was ready to work. BFB has never worked in the office. Her BP was not supposed to have office hours this year, yet she is here more than ever. This I found out when BP continually arrives in the office, sits behind a computer, answers phones, and announces to clients “I’M HERE NOW” (even though I was standing right there). Also BFB has arranged with Boss for certain clients to work in the office, of which again I don’t find out until I have other clients tell me someone new was working and unable to assist them. When I have inquired about this to Boss I receive a matter of fact reply like I should have known this or it wasn’t any of my business anyway.
You know the new hire situation already. We don’t need to revisit that. There are a few amendments – when making suggestions to Boss that new hire should handle something there is a reason from Boss for her not too, and new hire’s name is on Boss’ to-do-list.
Boss has been looking over my shoulder lately. And I mean this literally. Instead of asking me for my rolodex, she is walking behind me and reaching for it. She is looking at paperwork on my desk. She has attempted to look at my computer screen when I am not there to see what I am working on – but I changed my screen saver password – so HAHAHAHAHA.
She has made a comment to me while I was on the phone with a client advising me to make sure I was being nice cuz we won’t want to loss someone cuz I wasn’t nice. I mean is she for real? The client was going off on the phone, she wasn’t even listening, and I was stern but not mean. So I told her that if she thought I wasn’t being nice and not handling the situation properly that she should get on the phone. Boss got on the line –as the client was still carrying on. The client questioned her identity and Boss claimed that she was me! Later in conversation the client questioned her identity again, and Boss (apparently forgetting she lied) claimed she was a co-worker that wasn’t even in the office that day! The client caught her in the lie and Boss talked her way out of it by claiming she misunderstood the client’s first inquiry into her identity. A second occasion arose where a client needed to be called. Again I was warned to be nice for the same reason. I told Boss that if she felt I would not handle the situation professionally after working with her for 9 years that she should make the call herself. Boss called client, and well the situation with said client still exists and remains unresolved – not to mention a potential liability for Boss if anything ever goes wrong.
Boss has been having cryptic conversations with male boss and BFB. This started with BFB in the office one day. Boss had instructed me to sit in the front office, instead of my normal desk, so I did. BFB came in mid-day and expressed that she needed a desk so I advised her to use Boss’s desk. Then BFB asked for the computer password, I have been instructed to not release this information to anyone, so I claimed I did not know the new password. I said if she needed a computer to give me a few minutes to clear off the desk I was at and she could come out there. Given my history with BFB, it would be easier to relinquish the front desk rather than any other situation. No response. I see a phone line light up. After a few minutes I hear “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” From the front office I ask what the problem is and receive another similar comment. I respond with “the attitude in unappreciated I am attempting to find an alternate solution to your problem. BFB says that that is not the point. I clear off the front desk anyway and move to my desk. I notice that BFB has gained access to the Boss’s computer. One must now assume that BFB was on the phone with Boss who not only gave her the password, but must have sold me out by letting BFB know that I knew the password all along hence the dramatic “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”. Thanks Boss.
A few days later….
I happen to be in the front office again, speaking with a client – we are both standing on either side of the desk. BFB walks all around said desk, opening drawers, placing down a book to my right, reaching over me to grab a pen – not once did she address me, ask me to move, ask for my help. A few moments later BFB is standing in front of new hire’s desk with Boss. The conversation is quiet. Then I can hear Boss say “no one is sitting at that desk you can use it”. BFB: “but she’s been standing there”. Boss: “she won’t be for too long”. A few more whispered words, then I faintly hear – Boss: “well we just have to be patient”. BFB: “you should talk to her”. Boss: “it’s just a matter of time”. I confirmed what I over heard with the new hire. Do they think I’m stupid?
Comments are consistently passed between BFB and her cronies about me. I have heard them, and others have confirmed what I have heard.
Boss is now going through the procedures book asking about its accuracy. I tell her that it is and there are only a few minor adjustments needed. One day one of my co-workers that I love (herein referred to as CWL) attempted to complete a project with the use of the procedures book. CWL is quite frustrated with the company we work for as well. Due to her frustration her desire to work is in the toilet – no that mine is any better. CWL had the procedures book open, but was still referring to me about how to do the project. I was helping her, at one point sitting next to her and doing it with her. After I left CWL continued to experience problems, some were due to the computer, she reached a point where she couldn’t do anymore and left me a message for me explaining the situation. When I arrived the next day I finished the project. 2 days later Boss comes in and in an accusatory tone of voice asks me why CWL had difficulties following the procedures in the book if I claim the book to be accurate. I now grabbed the book and sat down with my boss and made her walk through the project with the procedures book. As we were going through it I asked “Do you think those instructions were confusing?” My boss with LITTLE computer knowledge was able to walk through the project. After 2 hours, Boss said that she needed to be working on something else and we could finish this another day. That day has yet to arrive. But again I had to prove myself to her.
My work hours will be changing in a few months due to my education. Boss and I began to discuss this and she assured me that she would be flexible with it as we had originally agreed. She inquired about how it was going to affect me financially. (Realistically I won’t be working full time therefore I cannot expect to be paid my current salary). I shared with her how someone suggested me attempting to collect unemployment. Boss QUICKLY shot out the question, “How can you collect unemployment if there is work available to you?” I was taken aback by this question, even though a part of me was expecting it. When BP applied for unemployment due to “lack of work”, Boss signed off on it. But I am posed with this question?! After all my service and devotion?! How UnGrateful!!!!!
A faculty member has a daughter that has been ill for the past 2 years. This has been brought on by the trauma of a death. The daughter is an important part of our work family and sees BFB almost on a daily basis. Daughter has been poorly treated by BFB since the trauma began. BFB has inundated her with angry questions about the trauma, consistently brings up reminders, and then haunts her mother (fellow faculty member) with accusations that she is not handling the daughter properly. With this description I am merely touching the tip of the iceberg.
One day the daughter was in the doctor’s office and her illness had taken a serious turn. Faculty Member mom (FMM) left her daughter at the doctor’s office to come to work – out of guilt and fear of what BFB and Boss might think if she didn’t show. FMM attempted to reach out to Boss but could not get her, then she tried BFB (why I don’t know), then she called me. I could hear the panic and grief in her voice. She was hysterical and scared for her daughter. My instinct told her to turn around and go back to her daughter I would find a way to handle her hours. Her fear of Boss and BFB made her continue to drive to work. We got off the phone and I attempted to reach Boss. Unsuccessful in contacting her directly I attempted to contact Boss2. I explained the situation to Boss2 and was told that FMM had a tendency to exaggerate and she should show up to work. I could not believe my ears. I told Boss2 that in the 9 years I worked with FMM I had never heard her this upset and that I needed to speak to Boss immediately. A few moments later Boss called. I explained the situation and she was in agreement that FMM should come to work and explain to the clients that she could only stay for a few minutes due to a family emergency and we were to cancel the next group. While on the phone, BFB came in the office and attempted to reach FMM and Boss. When she discovered I was on the phone with Boss she shouted from the front office that SHE needed to speak with Boss. I picked up the call with FMM and let BFB talk to Boss. I explained to FMM what Boss and I had discussed but then told her to hang on as it was probably about to change as Boss and BFB were talking. However BFB did it, she changed Boss’ mind. BFB spoke to FMM and told her she could not leave early and we were not canceling her second group. BFB was going to go and help FMM with her classes and then BFB attempted to give psychological counseling to FMM. I spoke with Boss and she told me that BFB and FMM had worked everything out and not to worry. How cold. How would Boss feel if her daughter was ill and she was not allowed to be with her? I understand that FMM had the choice to say f- it I’m not going in, but she didn’t. Does my Boss think this is the good Christian way of handling the situation?
FMM’s daughter is still ill. It is going to take a LONG time before she will recover. I hope that in the future FMM will make a better choice about being with her daughter rather than at work.
So here I sit, among hypocrisy, ungrateful and cold beings. If I could only get out of here today. But I am bound by my paycheck and agreement. Bound by a near contract with the Devil.
I pray to maintain my sanity in this insane asylum which has been taken over by the inmates.
I pray for the salvation of my soul.
I have been here through it all. I have been the one picking up the slack – bookkeeping (manually), learning new computer programs, handling the near 1000 cliental, between 6-8 annual performances, hiring and firing, reprimands, covering classes, schedule creation and adjustments, retail manager/salesperson, accounts receivables, delinquent accounts, legal representative, supplies, computer tech, copy machine tech, cleaning, plumber, psychologist, nurse, correspondences, liability control, detective, advertising executive, public relations, personal assistant, security, receptionist, and dear Lord I’m probably forgetting a few things.
I’ve tried to quit twice. The first time I was enticed with, what I consider a bribe. The second time, a family emergency required me to reevaluate my decision. My raises have been generous; however they have not truly compensated me for all my time and effort. And then again, to my knowledge, only ONE person has received any kind of raise in the past three years. We have also lost close to 200 cliental in the one business and over a 50% decline in sales for the other. But ONE person has still received a raise – and other financial compensations.
I tried to quit again a few years ago. Had another job lined up but realized that going to another similar position was not going to be the answer. At this point I made the decision to go back to school to become and educator of the young. I know that it is not an easy job, but there are many more rewards that touch my soul – these rewards are priceless. I was honest with my employer and we worked together to establish a plan that would enable me to keep my current position, attend school, and hire a replacement. All was right with the world – until…….
In February a co-worker (who has since left) was instructed to change the passwords to the financial records and not tell anyone. Odd, as I was the only other person who had those passwords.
A conflict between the boss and the BFB. This went on for several months and the boss was quite annoyed. She asked for my assistance with her written responses to the BFB, and I maintained our confidentiality, however she shared with someone that I was assisting. Then she began to share the correspondences with select cliental. She mentioned the possibility the BFB was not going to be with us much longer or that the capacity of her position was to be altered – we had to wait until the end of the year. Then we had to wait until after this one last public appearance (where more drama occurred and according to some boss let certain people down through her support of BFB). Then we were waiting for the BFB to approach the boss. BFB and family invited boss and family over for dinner one night. When asking the boss the following morning how things went, we were given the response – everything is fine BFB understands – then off to her office she went. Since that day BFB has been given more control and the BFB and boss are the best of friends. I wonder if BFB is aware of how Boss was acting during their conflict?
BFB has shown up in the office saying she was ready to work. BFB has never worked in the office. Her BP was not supposed to have office hours this year, yet she is here more than ever. This I found out when BP continually arrives in the office, sits behind a computer, answers phones, and announces to clients “I’M HERE NOW” (even though I was standing right there). Also BFB has arranged with Boss for certain clients to work in the office, of which again I don’t find out until I have other clients tell me someone new was working and unable to assist them. When I have inquired about this to Boss I receive a matter of fact reply like I should have known this or it wasn’t any of my business anyway.
You know the new hire situation already. We don’t need to revisit that. There are a few amendments – when making suggestions to Boss that new hire should handle something there is a reason from Boss for her not too, and new hire’s name is on Boss’ to-do-list.
Boss has been looking over my shoulder lately. And I mean this literally. Instead of asking me for my rolodex, she is walking behind me and reaching for it. She is looking at paperwork on my desk. She has attempted to look at my computer screen when I am not there to see what I am working on – but I changed my screen saver password – so HAHAHAHAHA.
She has made a comment to me while I was on the phone with a client advising me to make sure I was being nice cuz we won’t want to loss someone cuz I wasn’t nice. I mean is she for real? The client was going off on the phone, she wasn’t even listening, and I was stern but not mean. So I told her that if she thought I wasn’t being nice and not handling the situation properly that she should get on the phone. Boss got on the line –as the client was still carrying on. The client questioned her identity and Boss claimed that she was me! Later in conversation the client questioned her identity again, and Boss (apparently forgetting she lied) claimed she was a co-worker that wasn’t even in the office that day! The client caught her in the lie and Boss talked her way out of it by claiming she misunderstood the client’s first inquiry into her identity. A second occasion arose where a client needed to be called. Again I was warned to be nice for the same reason. I told Boss that if she felt I would not handle the situation professionally after working with her for 9 years that she should make the call herself. Boss called client, and well the situation with said client still exists and remains unresolved – not to mention a potential liability for Boss if anything ever goes wrong.
Boss has been having cryptic conversations with male boss and BFB. This started with BFB in the office one day. Boss had instructed me to sit in the front office, instead of my normal desk, so I did. BFB came in mid-day and expressed that she needed a desk so I advised her to use Boss’s desk. Then BFB asked for the computer password, I have been instructed to not release this information to anyone, so I claimed I did not know the new password. I said if she needed a computer to give me a few minutes to clear off the desk I was at and she could come out there. Given my history with BFB, it would be easier to relinquish the front desk rather than any other situation. No response. I see a phone line light up. After a few minutes I hear “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” From the front office I ask what the problem is and receive another similar comment. I respond with “the attitude in unappreciated I am attempting to find an alternate solution to your problem. BFB says that that is not the point. I clear off the front desk anyway and move to my desk. I notice that BFB has gained access to the Boss’s computer. One must now assume that BFB was on the phone with Boss who not only gave her the password, but must have sold me out by letting BFB know that I knew the password all along hence the dramatic “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”. Thanks Boss.
A few days later….
I happen to be in the front office again, speaking with a client – we are both standing on either side of the desk. BFB walks all around said desk, opening drawers, placing down a book to my right, reaching over me to grab a pen – not once did she address me, ask me to move, ask for my help. A few moments later BFB is standing in front of new hire’s desk with Boss. The conversation is quiet. Then I can hear Boss say “no one is sitting at that desk you can use it”. BFB: “but she’s been standing there”. Boss: “she won’t be for too long”. A few more whispered words, then I faintly hear – Boss: “well we just have to be patient”. BFB: “you should talk to her”. Boss: “it’s just a matter of time”. I confirmed what I over heard with the new hire. Do they think I’m stupid?
Comments are consistently passed between BFB and her cronies about me. I have heard them, and others have confirmed what I have heard.
Boss is now going through the procedures book asking about its accuracy. I tell her that it is and there are only a few minor adjustments needed. One day one of my co-workers that I love (herein referred to as CWL) attempted to complete a project with the use of the procedures book. CWL is quite frustrated with the company we work for as well. Due to her frustration her desire to work is in the toilet – no that mine is any better. CWL had the procedures book open, but was still referring to me about how to do the project. I was helping her, at one point sitting next to her and doing it with her. After I left CWL continued to experience problems, some were due to the computer, she reached a point where she couldn’t do anymore and left me a message for me explaining the situation. When I arrived the next day I finished the project. 2 days later Boss comes in and in an accusatory tone of voice asks me why CWL had difficulties following the procedures in the book if I claim the book to be accurate. I now grabbed the book and sat down with my boss and made her walk through the project with the procedures book. As we were going through it I asked “Do you think those instructions were confusing?” My boss with LITTLE computer knowledge was able to walk through the project. After 2 hours, Boss said that she needed to be working on something else and we could finish this another day. That day has yet to arrive. But again I had to prove myself to her.
My work hours will be changing in a few months due to my education. Boss and I began to discuss this and she assured me that she would be flexible with it as we had originally agreed. She inquired about how it was going to affect me financially. (Realistically I won’t be working full time therefore I cannot expect to be paid my current salary). I shared with her how someone suggested me attempting to collect unemployment. Boss QUICKLY shot out the question, “How can you collect unemployment if there is work available to you?” I was taken aback by this question, even though a part of me was expecting it. When BP applied for unemployment due to “lack of work”, Boss signed off on it. But I am posed with this question?! After all my service and devotion?! How UnGrateful!!!!!
A faculty member has a daughter that has been ill for the past 2 years. This has been brought on by the trauma of a death. The daughter is an important part of our work family and sees BFB almost on a daily basis. Daughter has been poorly treated by BFB since the trauma began. BFB has inundated her with angry questions about the trauma, consistently brings up reminders, and then haunts her mother (fellow faculty member) with accusations that she is not handling the daughter properly. With this description I am merely touching the tip of the iceberg.
One day the daughter was in the doctor’s office and her illness had taken a serious turn. Faculty Member mom (FMM) left her daughter at the doctor’s office to come to work – out of guilt and fear of what BFB and Boss might think if she didn’t show. FMM attempted to reach out to Boss but could not get her, then she tried BFB (why I don’t know), then she called me. I could hear the panic and grief in her voice. She was hysterical and scared for her daughter. My instinct told her to turn around and go back to her daughter I would find a way to handle her hours. Her fear of Boss and BFB made her continue to drive to work. We got off the phone and I attempted to reach Boss. Unsuccessful in contacting her directly I attempted to contact Boss2. I explained the situation to Boss2 and was told that FMM had a tendency to exaggerate and she should show up to work. I could not believe my ears. I told Boss2 that in the 9 years I worked with FMM I had never heard her this upset and that I needed to speak to Boss immediately. A few moments later Boss called. I explained the situation and she was in agreement that FMM should come to work and explain to the clients that she could only stay for a few minutes due to a family emergency and we were to cancel the next group. While on the phone, BFB came in the office and attempted to reach FMM and Boss. When she discovered I was on the phone with Boss she shouted from the front office that SHE needed to speak with Boss. I picked up the call with FMM and let BFB talk to Boss. I explained to FMM what Boss and I had discussed but then told her to hang on as it was probably about to change as Boss and BFB were talking. However BFB did it, she changed Boss’ mind. BFB spoke to FMM and told her she could not leave early and we were not canceling her second group. BFB was going to go and help FMM with her classes and then BFB attempted to give psychological counseling to FMM. I spoke with Boss and she told me that BFB and FMM had worked everything out and not to worry. How cold. How would Boss feel if her daughter was ill and she was not allowed to be with her? I understand that FMM had the choice to say f- it I’m not going in, but she didn’t. Does my Boss think this is the good Christian way of handling the situation?
FMM’s daughter is still ill. It is going to take a LONG time before she will recover. I hope that in the future FMM will make a better choice about being with her daughter rather than at work.
So here I sit, among hypocrisy, ungrateful and cold beings. If I could only get out of here today. But I am bound by my paycheck and agreement. Bound by a near contract with the Devil.
I pray to maintain my sanity in this insane asylum which has been taken over by the inmates.
I pray for the salvation of my soul.